so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize