After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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