He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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