Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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