How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
