"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
