the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
