My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
