it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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