They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
