I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
