I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
