You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
