There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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