god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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