She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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