do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
