Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
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I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
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I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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