when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
