please come you make the beer taste better
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
