Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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