i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
