First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
