don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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