You're so nebulous sometimes
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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