pedialite and red bull = repair kit
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
