whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
