i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
