Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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