My room smells like vodka and shame
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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