i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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