doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
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You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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