I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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