Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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