Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
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I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize