we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
