Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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