apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
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Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
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You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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