I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
