About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
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Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
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I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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