I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
