I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
