My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
