speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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