Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
