found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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