Please, let me fuck your mom
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
