Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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