I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
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I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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