Whod you bang
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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