We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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