lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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