You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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