I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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