I could have mohawked her pubes.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
