You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
