if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
