Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize