is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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