My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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